Lately I’ve been having anxiety about what I’m doing with my life.
Yes, I know everyone does, but that doesn’t mean I can just write this off. I struggle with trying to decide if I want to be rich/powerful/successful/happy. I struggle with the knowledge that I might have to choose between these things, at least to a degree.
I didn’t get my degree in English because I thought this was the money-maker. I never thought this would be my ticket to Millionaire Acres. But I struggle with the notion that I might have to compromise my ideals and dreams to make a decent living. English can translate to many fields of work…but that doesn’t mean I’ll be happy there.
But where I think I’ll be happiest–who knows if I’d even like it there.
Since my freshman year of college, I knew I wanted to use my “English” skills somewhere. As long as I could use creative, writing, and/or editing skills, I’d be happy.
Things I know:
1) I’m currently unhappy at my job.
My job is by no means bad. In fact, it’s a swell gig for someone (me) to have gotten straight out of college; however, there is no room for growth. It is a very small office and no money in the budget for any raises anytime soon. It’s also very obviously a “family affair” sort of place. Since I have no intention of marrying one of the boss’s sons, there is little chance my ideas will be heard where it really matters.
2) I don’t want to live in Florida.
As a Florida-baby, I’ll miss the sun and the surf. I do wretched in the cold, but I’d be willing to give it a go for a year or so, at least. Or not. I’m not overly picky where I’d like to move to, as long as it was in/near a large city. I’ve grown up in the suburbs of Tampa, and I feel it’s time I’ve “stretched my wings” and tried living AT LEAST out of the state. Plus, if zombies are coming up from Miami, Tampa is simply not far away enough for me.
Besides these things, anything could happen. Maybe I’ll get an interview tomorrow someplace exotic. Maybe I’ll get laid-off (please don’t happen). Maybe I’ll let my lease run out and move someplace else. No plan, no problem.
What I need to do is relax and not think about these things too much.